Have you ever had 1,500 pounds at the end of a rope leave you with all its might? There might be smaller things at the end of ropes that you may be able to wrestle with, and force to an agreement. There are times when hunkering down and giving a good yank is effective, and there are times when planting yourself like a telephone pole and not giving in gets the message across. Sometimes sheer willpower can overcome a difficult moment, but there are also times when hanging on and pushing through only gets your face dragged through the mud.
After a few bouts of rope burn and hurt feelings while trying to “work though” Riley’s ever increasing obsession with leaving, I realized that I was powerless. There was no way that I would win a fight with that big smart horse on the end of a rope. There was a misunderstanding going on and I could not solve it by digging in my heels.
I decided to drop the rope for a while and play only with Riley at Liberty. With no ropes to foolishly rely on, or more likely get in the way, Riley and I learned a lot about each other. I learned that she had a hard time allowing me on her right side. I learned that when I asked her for a hindquarter disengagement, she sometimes felt pressured. I learned that there was a line down her center of gravity that I could use to encourage forward, or backward. Mostly I learned that Riley was so in tuned to me already, that I had just been giving her sloppy signals, and that is what generally set her off.
As we increased our understanding, we increased our trust. Riley began to look to me for safety and comfort, and I began to take pleasure in playing with her, instead of viewing it as I had been, as “hard work”. I was a little worried to go back on the rope. I was afraid that it all would go wrong again. What I found when we went back online was that all that we had just worked on was there.
We had one fascinating moment of realization for me. Riley got worried and started to think that she should leave. I thought that I had to do what I would do in the round pen, not what I did before that caused the ruckus. I put slack in the line, lowered my energy and focused on my body language. And I saw a shift in her eyes as she found the place that we had at liberty. That place of understanding and trust that we had created, we could instantly go back to when needed.
My moments with Riley continue to have their ups and downs, though I am grateful for them all. She is becoming a lovely horse to be with and ride. She still occasionally has moments in which her life flashes before her eyes and she needs to go. But I understand these more now, and if our communication goes wrong that day, and she gives me more than I bargain for, I let go. And I laugh, and I ask her where she is going, and when would she like to come back? And then we resume our useful conversation, and let the misunderstanding go. And move on.
I simply must gush about Zeta. At first meet, I fell in love with her. Which probably says something about me, because the first time I saw her she refused to be caught by anyone, and clearly had not been so as evidenced by her baseball bat sized dread-locked tail. As I got to know Zeta better, she showed that she really did seem to have some baggage. Particularly about halters, and face touching, and sometimes people in general. Worming and medication was an issue, as well as the thought of riding. In fact, as I played with her I realized Zeta often seemed to prefer people at her hind end rather than her front end...
My obsession with Zeta continued to grow, and as I usually do with horses new to me, I go in over my head too fast. I misjudged the severity of her issues, and one thing leading to another, Zeta stepped on the much too long rope that I was using, and feeling this pressure on her poll, reactively jerked her head up like a shot, colliding her noggin with mine. Now I’ve been head butted by a horse before, and by horses with much larger heads than hers, but this one hit me just right. I had a nice egg on my forehead, much too gruesome for people to not assume that Zeta was some evil monster of a horse. So even while my head was still swelling, I had to defend my girl. It wasn't her fault, I knew better, she just stepped on the rope, didn't mean it.
As soon as I could make my way back to visit I knew what was on the agenda. Yielding to steady pressure with the halter. I worked on this for one session and made good progress, but I didn't realize quite how much progress until the following time. Zeta began to give to any amount of pressure I put on the halter, not just in a downward force, as I had mostly practiced, but in a tug forward, she gently put her head down. In a request sideways, her head dropped calmly. Compared to the violent reaction of a week before, I was flabbergasted. She had given it up so easily.
This proved to be the way it is with Zeta. Given some gentle communication and understanding, Zeta has been willing to give up her issues with no argument from her. I’ve ridden her several times now, and can tell that she doesn't know much about it. But it is not stopping her from learning and being willing. Clearly the experiences she has had with people on her back have not offered her much connection or communication. But she has gone from repeatedly moving off when mounted to turning her face to me when I put a body part over her back. She has let kids catch her when they are able to slow down their energy and pay attention to their body language.
Zeta has gone from a wild horse to a valuable and important lesson in how to let things go, trust, and move on. She seems to have no hangups about needing to hold on to her old defenses. Certainly they can take some time to disappear entirely, but when she recognizes that there is something better for her, and can trust it, she does.
After a few bouts of rope burn and hurt feelings while trying to “work though” Riley’s ever increasing obsession with leaving, I realized that I was powerless. There was no way that I would win a fight with that big smart horse on the end of a rope. There was a misunderstanding going on and I could not solve it by digging in my heels.
I decided to drop the rope for a while and play only with Riley at Liberty. With no ropes to foolishly rely on, or more likely get in the way, Riley and I learned a lot about each other. I learned that she had a hard time allowing me on her right side. I learned that when I asked her for a hindquarter disengagement, she sometimes felt pressured. I learned that there was a line down her center of gravity that I could use to encourage forward, or backward. Mostly I learned that Riley was so in tuned to me already, that I had just been giving her sloppy signals, and that is what generally set her off.
As we increased our understanding, we increased our trust. Riley began to look to me for safety and comfort, and I began to take pleasure in playing with her, instead of viewing it as I had been, as “hard work”. I was a little worried to go back on the rope. I was afraid that it all would go wrong again. What I found when we went back online was that all that we had just worked on was there.
We had one fascinating moment of realization for me. Riley got worried and started to think that she should leave. I thought that I had to do what I would do in the round pen, not what I did before that caused the ruckus. I put slack in the line, lowered my energy and focused on my body language. And I saw a shift in her eyes as she found the place that we had at liberty. That place of understanding and trust that we had created, we could instantly go back to when needed.
My moments with Riley continue to have their ups and downs, though I am grateful for them all. She is becoming a lovely horse to be with and ride. She still occasionally has moments in which her life flashes before her eyes and she needs to go. But I understand these more now, and if our communication goes wrong that day, and she gives me more than I bargain for, I let go. And I laugh, and I ask her where she is going, and when would she like to come back? And then we resume our useful conversation, and let the misunderstanding go. And move on.
*********************
I simply must gush about Zeta. At first meet, I fell in love with her. Which probably says something about me, because the first time I saw her she refused to be caught by anyone, and clearly had not been so as evidenced by her baseball bat sized dread-locked tail. As I got to know Zeta better, she showed that she really did seem to have some baggage. Particularly about halters, and face touching, and sometimes people in general. Worming and medication was an issue, as well as the thought of riding. In fact, as I played with her I realized Zeta often seemed to prefer people at her hind end rather than her front end...
My obsession with Zeta continued to grow, and as I usually do with horses new to me, I go in over my head too fast. I misjudged the severity of her issues, and one thing leading to another, Zeta stepped on the much too long rope that I was using, and feeling this pressure on her poll, reactively jerked her head up like a shot, colliding her noggin with mine. Now I’ve been head butted by a horse before, and by horses with much larger heads than hers, but this one hit me just right. I had a nice egg on my forehead, much too gruesome for people to not assume that Zeta was some evil monster of a horse. So even while my head was still swelling, I had to defend my girl. It wasn't her fault, I knew better, she just stepped on the rope, didn't mean it.
As soon as I could make my way back to visit I knew what was on the agenda. Yielding to steady pressure with the halter. I worked on this for one session and made good progress, but I didn't realize quite how much progress until the following time. Zeta began to give to any amount of pressure I put on the halter, not just in a downward force, as I had mostly practiced, but in a tug forward, she gently put her head down. In a request sideways, her head dropped calmly. Compared to the violent reaction of a week before, I was flabbergasted. She had given it up so easily.
This proved to be the way it is with Zeta. Given some gentle communication and understanding, Zeta has been willing to give up her issues with no argument from her. I’ve ridden her several times now, and can tell that she doesn't know much about it. But it is not stopping her from learning and being willing. Clearly the experiences she has had with people on her back have not offered her much connection or communication. But she has gone from repeatedly moving off when mounted to turning her face to me when I put a body part over her back. She has let kids catch her when they are able to slow down their energy and pay attention to their body language.
Zeta has gone from a wild horse to a valuable and important lesson in how to let things go, trust, and move on. She seems to have no hangups about needing to hold on to her old defenses. Certainly they can take some time to disappear entirely, but when she recognizes that there is something better for her, and can trust it, she does.
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| Zeta and I on our first ride |
Great post on knowing when force is not working.
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