Saturday, April 16, 2016

Who I am with you

The days I get to spend in the pasture and sunshine are very important to me.  I get to spend time with the herd, and though the opportunity is often there, I usually end up taking advantage of it during those times in life that I really need it. When I need a good recharging, my favorite grounding space is in the grass or hay, on a warm sunny spot in the pasture, next to a snoozing horse.
Today I was enjoying the sunshine next to my snoozing Isis,  who has been a joy in my life for about a year and a half. So we haven't gotten too many pasture snoozing sessions in yet.  As I was enjoying her grounding company,  I thought of my other wonderful horses and wondered how I got so lucky. When I brought Isis home, I had no idea she would be an incredible therapy horse, or be willing to do anything I asked of her, or trust me so much. It was strange how that seemed so much like my other horses.
I realized that though my horses have all been completely different in personality, who they are in relationship to me is quite similar, because who I am in relationship to them is exactly the same. I notice this as well in my relationships with friends and family.  They behave in a very similar way towards me. Because, well, that's how I've trained them.
We often say in experiential therapy that wherever you go, there you are. This is why experiential therapy works, particularly equine therapy. Our behaviors and skills that we use in one area of life, we use in all areas. It's who we are. And when we can become aware of it, we have opportunity to choose how to be.
I didn't know what kind of horse Isis was going to be for me, but I guess I should have. Because I knew who I was going to be for her. Relationships aren't 50-50, and they aren't 100-100 either. They are more like this constant intermingling flow. Like a trickle of rain that creates a small rivulet, and in a million years looks like the grand canyon. 
I'm not saying that my horse human relationships are perfect. There are those things I see in my mirrors that I don't like too. Supposedly, if we see how we are enough, and it makes a deep enough impact on us,  we are willing to change. Then who we are is different, and our relationships will be different. And the people in our lives will be different.
Who we are actually creates the world around us.  You may think that you don't matter, but who you are makes an impact. Everything from the smile you give your coworkers in the morning to being there for your kids at night. It matters. This, to me is one of the most powerful and humbling lessons there is to learn.  It's actually scary to realize the responsibility we have in our lives, our relationships,  and the world.
Simply by recognizing and acknowledging who we are and the impact it has, our world changes. Power lies in knowing that who we are is exactly who we choose to be.