Embracing the Darkness

I’ve been trying to embrace the darkness. Instead of hating that it gets dark before I even set my foot out the door to come home, I have been trying to make good use of the change, such as spending time hibernating at home with my husband, and taking the opportunity to spend undemanding time snuggling and grooming my horses. As I was enjoying my beautiful Lucy tonight and combing the massive amount of burrs out of this normally quite prim pony’s tail (it’s usually Bucky I have to worry about- I’m pretty sure he ROLLS in them...), I was reminded of why I often call her my Wild Indian Pony. I’m not sure what she loves more, greeting me with a sweet nuzzle to the neck and resting her head on my shoulder, or leading a wild bucking and running frenzy across the field with her friends when I come to catch her .

She is rather interesting in the herd as well, though by nature she often seems passive, she also never lets any of the boys push her around if she doesn’t want to. Her quiet place in the herd can quickly turn into a nasty face to protect her space. She has been interesting as my partner as well. She has shown up as a firm and opinionated teacher, yet also an obedient and willing partner.

Lucy has a swirl at the curve of her neck where a brown spot and a white spot meet. It creates a perfect symbol of what I have discovered her personality to be. It is a graceful brown and white yin-yang.

The Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang refers to the opposite forces of nature which, as they act in turn, give rise to the other. It speaks of balance and interdependence. It comes from observation of the cycles and patterns of the universe and earth, and the symbol itself is actually a picture of the charted cycle of the winter and summer solstices.

In western thought, we often think of this philosophy as the balance between good and bad. In fact we Americans are obsessed with ideas of good and evil. Look at our favorite stories, our religions, and even our penal system. However, this philosophy does not speak of what is good or bad, merely what is opposite, yet interdependent. It does not weigh whether the yin is better than the yang. I cannot pretend to be any type of expert on this subject, but what I have gathered are that the yin and yang are three things: It is change, It is natural, and because it is natural, it has ease.

In looking at our own nature, we can see the lights and the darks. All too often, however, we are prone to judge them. As I have sat with my clients at work this week I have seen the darkness in their nature come to a head until it turns into a reflection of light. I have seen hate expressed until it turns to love, and back to hate again, for the hope of love in the future. The cycles of our emotions and relationships need these interdependent opposites. Our anger and hate and hurt is all a part of our bodies and brains working on being healthy and whole. Our sicknesses and so-called faults are all a part of us expressing who we were created to be.

It is simple, easy, and natural for Lucy to be a wild pony one minute and a golden angel the next. It can also be simple, easy, and natural for us to accept who we are and who others are in all our holy and unholy forms. This is the cycle of change. The summer can only come if winter has taken it away first. We can only love and accept ourselves if we allow ourselves to embrace our darkness first.