All the Moving Parts

I had the lovliest time playing with my Lucy this weekend. Generally, we have a good time together. Things have been going quite well. Most often we even have a great time, but I often struggle to come home feeling elated. And that's my issue, not Lucy's, because she's an angel! This sense of dissatisfaction bothers me. Why can't I be flying on cloud nine about all the cool stuff we have accomplished? I feel like such a.... well, such a poophead. I don't think there's any other word.

Allow me to first tell you about this lovely angel (bear with me whilst I brag....). Lucy is a gorgeous paint mare- the kind you would see on Native American posters running with the wind in her hair. I call her my wild Indian pony. She is as sweet as can be but still has plenty of sass. She always delivers it with grace, though, no matter what it is. Through the something like a year and a half that we have been together, she has been the perfect partner: always willing; she has stepped up to everything I have ever asked her to do, which has been quite a lot. Though Lucy was originally named (Loosey) for her rather loose lips, her name has become quite fitting, meaning, "bringer of light". I want to be just like her when I grow up.....

Lucy and I have recently been working on some Finesse, that is, refining our communication and developing more precise movements. In refining our communication, I am looking for softness and willingness. In developing more precise movements, I am looking for clear communication to a particular body part or combination of body parts. The definition of communication that I like to use is, "two or more individuals sharing and understanding an idea." The thing that I have discovered about communication is that, if it is in fact shared and understood, it brings clarity. And clarity brings confidence. I have seen Lucy go from a very unconfident learner to a horse who is now, not only confident in any surrounding, but also has begun to manipulate her surroundings (her herd) to her pleasure! The clarity that I have had with Lucy has caused me to be a more confident rider. And what I have learned today is that more precision in our communication has caused us both to be more confident in our relationship.

One of the things that horseman Pat Parelli teaches is that you have to be particular without being critical. It is one of those things that I truly struggle with. It's not terribly hard for me to remain calm and not get frustrated anymore when things don't go right. What is hard is usually rejoicing in the good. This is why I come away from my rides with Lucy feeling a little down because she took two steps after I asked her to stop, even though we were riding bareback and bridleless. It is also why I can feel grumpy for days on end and not know why, even though my life is perfectly fine. Or why I will stress about all the "things I have to do" instead of just getting them done; the list is never as long as I make it out to be. I allow a negative thought about one thing to then speak to me about everything else.

While riding Lucy this weekend, I recognized that being particular can actually help you with not being critical. As I worked with communicating with Lucy to move forward two steps, then back two steps, then to the left two steps, then the right....I realized that this particular communication was bringing clarity. And that clarity brought confidence! We then worked on opening and closing a gate, something that definitely requires precision. I had to be particular. We had to have clear communication, or it would have been a whole big problem. There's a lot of moving parts in that equation: people parts, horse parts, gate parts....

This practice in being particular is the reason that I am happy today. Today, Lucy and I were riding in the pasture a bit, and playing at liberty (no ropes), and things didn't go perfectly... This gave me the opportunity to take the thing that didn't work, and focus on it until there was clarity. And I could visibly see that the confidence in our relationship caused us both to hang in there until it worked out! Best of all, I was able to leave feeling happy, and able to truly feel that a bump in the road is just something to work on. And something to work on is a good thing.

There are so many moving parts in our lives: work, home, school, friends, hobbies -- just to generalize. If there is a problem in one area, it may or may not be because there is a problem in another. But you can bet that if you don't fix the problem, it will creep through each area of your life until you can't even fix it because you don't know where it came from. Our brains are like that. One negative thought will permeate things it has no business in. Unless we can clarify with our brain what exactly it is talking about! Once we know where that negative (or positive) thought came from, things can be put into perspective. We have to learn to be particular with ourselves to avoid being critical, and keep tabs on all our moving parts.