Lessons Learned

A gardener was at a well drawing water for his garden. His little dog was jumping and barking on the side of the well and lost his balance and fell in. The man immediately took off his clothes and jumped in the well to rescue his dog. Just as he was bringing the slippery and struggling animal to the top, the ungrateful wretch bit his hand. “Why you little monster!” the gardener exclaimed, “If that is your idea of gratitude to a master who feeds you and treats you kindly,then pull yourself out of the well!” And with that, he dropped him back into the well. Moral of the story: Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.


A milkmaid was on her way to market, carrying a pail of milk on her head. As she walked along, she began to think of what she would do with the money that she would receive for the milk. “I will buy some hens from a neighbor, and the hens will lay eggs that I will sell. With the egg money, I will buy myself a new dress. It will be a green dress, because green is best for my complexion. And in this lovely green gown, I will go to the fair. All the young men will strive to have me for a partner, and I will pretend I do not see them. And when they become too insistent I will disdainfully toss my head....like this.” As the milkmaid spoke, she tossed her head back and down came the pail of milk, spilling all over the ground. Moral of the story: Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.

As children, we are taught that lessons get learned this way. In fact, it would be nice if when life was about to teach us a lesson, that someone would simply hand us a card with a clever little morality statement that would just clear things up for us. However, my lesson this week came to me in a much different way than I expected.

First the story: I went out to play with Lucy last week on a lovely evening after work. I was annoyed at the little bit of time I had been able to spend with her lately, so I made sure I was going to enjoy myself that day. I began to do some driving from behind,much like we would do any other day. I could tell that Lucy was a bit disconnected from me, not her usual self. However, I continued with the game, and as her responses became less willing, my requests became more insistent. I did not realize what was going on until I got hit hard with a hind hoof in the gut.

Moral of the story: Well, no one handed me a card with a clever quip, so I had to work to figure out the lesson for myself. First I had to figure out what happened, then figure out what it meant. However, my brain went more quickly to creating ideas about what it meant first. How could she do this? Is our relationship in shambles? I must be an idiot.....I expected that the moral of this story would be a negative one. After all, they usually are. I expected that when I told this story to people that they would immediately criticize my horsemanship. I expected that whoever handed me the card with the morality quip would cause me to feel defeated,frustrated, foolish and powerless. But I soon realized that I held the card,and that I got to say.

As I thought about about this incident and talked to friends, I was clearly aware of the mistakes I made in the situation. I compared my horsemanship of that moment to all the rest of the moments that Lucy and I have had together. I became clearly aware that the mistake I made was simply in that moment, and did not mean anything about anything else. This recognition opened a whole new door to growth. This simple statement allowed me to take responsibility for what I did in that moment, making it much easier to resolve than if I had made it more complicated, and allowed me to continue to feel good about where Lucy and I were regardless of said incident.

I quickly knew that I also needed to let it go. Horses live in the moment, and I knew that Lucy had already given it up. I needed to allow this incident to somehow teach me a lesson, not in fear, but in power. I went back to play with Lucy, making sure that I was more respectful of her feelings, but continuing to trust her as I always had. I became more aware and more grateful of the many beautiful things in our relationship.

After the conversation this past week, with myself, with others, and with my horse,and through the emotional journey that I have taken over the past few years, the moral of this story surprised me. Instead of feeling wrong, instead of feeling broken, powerless and confused, I felt more confident, more powerful, and more in love with my horse.

Moral of the story: A lesson learned is a good thing.