One of the principles of natural horsemanship is that there are mutual responsibilities for horses and humans in a partnership. One of these responsibilities for the human is "Use the Natural Power of Focus"(Parelli Natural Horsemanship). Of course this is the ONE thing that I forgot while giving a horsemanship lesson a few weeks ago. And why did I forget this one? Well clearly because I wasn't using it.
A few days ago, I was riding Riley, a big draft horse cross who just happens to also be the smartest horse I've ever known, as well as strong and fast. I've only ridden her a few times, and she's probably only had a handful of rides in her life in addition to that. Needless to say, the first few rides, I did not expect much, and she delivered just that- diving for grass every three steps (mind you, there is no rein-wrestling a 1400 pound horse with a neck as wide as her girth!). I did my best to match her persistence, and eventually we got somewhere. Unfortunately, now I expected something. So this fateful day, as I was riding Riley for the third time, she was diving for grass about every thirty steps, but since Riley is so smart, she was doing it with a strategy- to get me frustrated! As I was feeling the heat creep up my neck and the discouragement sink into my belly, out of the corner of my eye appears Bucky, with just the wisdom that I needed. I'm sure some of you understand the intuitive communication that can happen between you and someone you've been with for over 15 years, and when Bucky said what he had to say, I knew he was right. Riley was trying to get me to lose my focus, and it was working. It wasn't about grass. It was about whether I was a good enough leader to keep my focus when things got distracting. hmmmmm......
So this set me on the quest- what is the natural power of focus? Focus is not simply fixing your eyes on a goal and nothing else. I've done that before- and ended up on a pile of snow about half a mile away from where I'd intended after an unscheduled brisk gallop through the field. Focus is not being all consumed with something to the point that you don't pay attention to anything else. How many people lose their families because all they do is work? It's not helpful to have a one track mind in life. A person who uses focus is someone who knows what their goal is, certainly, but I think more than that. I think focus is more of a driving vision. A goal is something specific that you hope to achieve. Vision can be defined as "unusual competence in discernment or perception; intelligent foresight". Someone with a driving vison knows what has to be done, and what it will take to get there. He understands that there will be difficulties, and knows how to deal with them. But there is something more important behind the goal that he never forgets. It's a principle. A good relationship, building trust, being the best you can be, creating a better world. These are visions. My focus that day with Riley could have been simply a goal, and it was to a certain extent- " lets go over to that barrel." But a mere focus on the goal would not help if my vision was not bigger than that- "I will be good enough to be your leader". As it may be for you , I'm sure, my job can be frustrating for me sometimes. Sometimes I feel like there are so many challenges thrown in the way of doing what I have to do, that I lose motivation, energy, and focus. But if I can maintain my vision- to help my clients-I will have a sense of focus that will then give me direction.
The second thing in developing focus, after knowing your vision, is creating a plan. The third thing is sticking to it. I was giving a horsemanship lesson to a young man who was having trouble getting his horse to go where he wanted her to go. We created a plan together to follow the rail. Then came the hard part - sticking to the plan. I gave him the homework for the week to go home and find something he needs help with, create a plan, and stick to it. His mom loved the idea and said that it is exactly where he was having trouble. I am excited to see how it works out for him. In the meantime, I have to make my own plan and stick to it! A plan can be specific and detailed, or it can be a simple idea. "I'm going to keep trying until i get it right!" Creating a plan and sticking to it gives you confidence. There is a safety net in knowing exactly what to do. When my horse doesnt go where I ask, I simply ask again. It keeps me from getting frustrated, angry, and losing focus.
While listening to a podcast from 5* Parelli Professional David Lichman, he reminded me that Focus develops Feel. How much better could I serve my horses, my clients, my family and friends, if I used feel? If I paid attention to when to push, and when to back off. If I was constantly present in the moment to give them what they needed? My conclusion is that to develop focus and feel, I need to keep present in my mind my vision. If the vision present in my mind is to love my husband, be a good leader for my horse, or create something big in my life, then the plan will follow that, and the feel will be there.
The natural power of focus is that it develops unity. If I am going a certain direction, you can align with me and we can enjoy a united path. If I am not sure where I am going, then chances are we will never be going the same direction. And who doesn't want unity? Who doesn't want to be able to ride their horse bareback and bridleless off into the sunset, or have whole, healthy, loving relationships? I do.
